Monday, January 31, 2011


Okay, so currently I`m taking a break from my poems and short story writing to go on another rant. So last night I watched the ProBowl. Usually not a big fan since they`re not that exciting, but hey it`s football after all right?
So watching the NFC crushing the AFC in the first half and saw that the Redskins players were running train over the AFC offense. Two interceptions and a stripped ball for a fumble recovery and a touch down, all three by Redskins players, two by DeAngelo Hall. Pretty damn awesome!
Two things were going through my head while watching this. One, why the hell can`t the Redskins play like that during the regular season? Two I have NEVER heard announcers SO queit after plays like that! I mean there was just silence! Wtf? Is it that they announcers get paid not to talk about the Redskins?
Then it occurred to me. Two of those announcers come from the AFC. So what did they spend the game talking about? Well the AFC of course and their personal stories from playing/coaching.
Really? I mean no play by play of the game? No praise for the amazing players on the NFC team? I mean if the NFC threw THAT many interceptions (final count was 7 or more I think) they would be all over them. But no! Yeah Bradshaw through some comments about Manning throwing short, but that was it!
This just goes to show you what I`ve been saying for years. Announcers can`t be impartial. They can say all they want about how they`re objective and what now but when it comes to it they`re not.
Yes I get that the ProBowl is a different game then others, but still it`s getting ridiculous! For now on I`m seriously going to mute the TV when I watch football.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Portrait of the Writer as a Sane Man (eat your heart out James Joyce)

Pen poised, paper blank, unpolished, undisturbed.
The Clash of the Two Titans.
Fight between the senses.
Which to bury the pen or the hatchet?
Rippled feeling of Vertigo.
Ripping from limb from limb.
Pen meets paper.
Pure orgasmic ectasy grips body.
Admire handiwork of a god.
Pure genius.
Independence unfold, breaks off, rises to a higher purpose.
Ends in a fight.
Victor rises to meet his prize, the poised pen.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Under My Skin

You were too late

Hurt and Pain are now hate

Numbness begins to set

Have you figured it out yet?

Can you feel anything?

Does any of it sting?

Is blindness suddenly your trait?

Or are you too filled with hate?

The Heart you bare is that of stone

Nothing makes me happier then to know you’ll leave me alone

What has been lifted is that insecurity

That you made me feel every time you talked like that to me

Are you really that conceited?

To not realize who have really been defeated?

Does the spear not pierce?

Are the heartaches really not that fierce?

All of this though has left my head

Everything you ever did or said

None of it matters because I’ve moved on

You never realize what you have until it’s gone


Hide behind the lies, the deceit, the facade of something real

Hide from all the pain, all the hurt and aching that you feel

Hide behind the fantasy, the other world, other realm and place

Hide from all the anger that creeps into your every space

Run from the feelings those things with which you can’t deal

Run to all the things that you’ve made up, none of it real

Run from that hole that is now inside your chest

Run to all the things that will never complain, yell or protest

Live away from those people that really do care

Live in that world that you’ve created to always be there

Live away from the horrors and tragedies that grip your life

Live in that place where you control who and what can cause your strife

Die without the people who held your hand along the way

Die in that place that knows nothing of what you feel today

Die without your family and friends by your side

Die in that place that forever houses your pride

3 Leaf Loser

Okay so first off don’t try to look into any meaning behind the title to this post, it’s a song that I really like the lyrics to and I saw it popped on randomly as I sat down to write this post. So now that we got past that red tape we can go on to what this post is really about: the “F” word. Okay get your minds back on track here, I’m talking about FRIENDS. This is a word that can instill confidents, happiness or fear, trepidation or even dread, anger. Basically there’s all this emotion behind it.

Sorry, back to the point of the word friends. What is a friend? Is it simply people that you hang out with, go to class with, maybe live with and help out? My answer: No. Friends are so much more. Friends are the ones who stick by you through all your problems, your outbursts, your craziness, your identity crisis and your need to explore who you really are and find yourself. Friends do not judge you, do not care what you wear, how much money you have or what you look like. Friends will sometimes make you angry and upset but a true friend will always apologize and make things right. Friends do not make you feel insecure, two feet tall and like you want to rip someone’s head off. Friends do not leave you for the “cooler” people when you decide to change your direction and interests in life. Friends do not tread on you and put you down.

Throughout my life I’ve constantly called people my “friends” but lately I’ve been seeing that that word is thrown around a lot. Sure I have my friends who do all the great things that I listed above, and then I have the people that I talk to on occasion in classes or at work and then you I have the acquaintances who I talk to a lot but still aren’t on the level of being my “friend.” I can tell who my true and long term friends are when they make the effort to keep in touch with me and actually care about what I say and don’t judge me for what I say even if it’s stupid or ludicrous. Recently I’ve been in touch with people who I literally haven’t talked to in years who have found me on facebook, or have called me up to listen to my entire life story pretty much. That makes me feel good inside.

On the flipside of that, I have friends who now that I have graduated and left college are trying to say they miss me and all, but it’s all formalities. These are the people in my life that don’t’ need to be in my life. Also I have the people who have acted like I’ve dropped off the face of the earth, some of whom I’ve known practically half my life. See when you grow up it’s easy to start seeing who are you true friends. For example when someone you’ve known your whole life and yet haven’t said two words to them in years but yet a person you’re known a little over a year texts you every day and actually cares what you’re doing and puts up with your craziness (and yes you know who you are J). That’s a true friend.

So what to take away from my wisdom? Be careful who you call your “friends” cause you may end up like me, writing horror stories about people named “Jackson” getting torn apart by a homicidal, cannibalistic, demon monsters. J