Wednesday, December 8, 2010

These are the Things I Think about in Class

So this morning while I was getting ready for class I watched my normal shows, Sabrina the Teenage Witch at 8:30am and then Yes Dear at 9am. The episode of Yes Dear was one where Jimmy had a list of things that he wanted to do before he died. One of the things was write a song. He then wrote a song about the things that he did at work which the lyrics can be found at this site:

So while I was in class I got to thinking, what do I think about when I'm in class or at work? So I've compiled this list of things that I was thinking about this morning sitting in Museum Studies Class:

1. Sabrina this morning was about Christmas and wondered why as a child I didn't believe in Santa for very long, yet I believed in monsters, ghost, demons, faeries and the like.

2. Who came up with the structure of the boundaries of the different Continents? If it were me I'd totally make the countries look like different animals. Iraq would be a bunny, Pakistan a duck, Iran a koala and so forth. I mean come on, would you invade a country that was shaped like a bunny? I think not.

3. I am way too obsessed with Darren Criss...

4. "It's gonna be totally awesome" (and other random lyrics from A Very Potter Musical)

5. Why is it that when I dress warmly this class room is sweltering? And when I don't it frozen?

6. OMG that beeping outside needs to stop

7. I need to stop watching the History Channel

8. New job goal: become a bounty hunter for antiquities that have been acquired illegally.

9. Seriously! What's with the beeping?

10. I really wish I had a job lined up

11. Holy Crap I'm graduating in a 9 days!!!

12. Wow... more Darren Criss thoughts huh?

13. I'm hungry...

14. Wish my jaw wasn't stupid and I could eat things other than soup...

15. Mmmmmm soup :)

16. I have come to the realization that I'm just not funny, I can write comedy but when I say things they're just stupid

17. And stats all folks (gee Nick thanks for getting that stupid pun in my head)

So now you all know what goes on in that head of mine when I'm attempting to pay attention in class. Now I was thinking about making that into a Song, but getting all of that to rhyme and go together would be very difficult.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

And now what you all have been waiting for....

*cue drum roll* My take on the new Harry Potter movie:

Well after going to class last Friday, going to work and then taking a 4 hour bus ride home I went to see Harry Potter with my friends. Now after all of this I was fully prepared to fall asleep during this movie. But honestly, I was pleasantly surprised the movie wasn't that bad. Now when I say it wasn't that bad that's pretty good for me for any of you who know me or read my disclaimer post. It followed the story line pretty well except for a couple of really weird things that they added for really no apparent reason.

The point that I was waiting for the most was the "introduction" of Bill Weasley which like I said in the last post even though he has been in the books starting at the third one he has been in none of the movies. So basically Bill randomly shows up out of nowhere when they go to rescue Harry. The movie glazes over it really fast with a whole "Hey this is Bill our older brother" "Oh hey nice to meet you" "Likewise" and Fleur chiming in with the whole "Oh look at these scratched that that one werewolf gave you." The end of that story that plays a HUGE roll in the sixth book. It was a this part in the movie that I literally yelled at the movie screen and then felt the eyes of everyone in the theatre on me as well as the elbow in my ribs from my friend.

Then obviously there was the fact like in everyone of the Harry Potter movies they leave things out that are important. And this one even though it did better than the other ones, left things out that were important. I know a lot of people who haven't read the books were lost through a lot of it, especially the scene when they were in Godric's Hollow and Nagini is attacking them.

Another thing that I didn't like about it was that the scenes in the tent really dragged and the whole dancing thing I thought was really cheesy the way they portrayed it. I even dosed off a little bit through parts of the tent scenes though that might just have been because of my long day.

One thing that I really liked about this movie was the portrayal of the Malfoys. I loved how they showed them so scared but still falling in line with Voldemort. I think a lot of that had to do with the amazing acting skills of Jason Isaacs and Tom Felton. The part where Voldemort take's Lucius' wand was just how I pictured it in the book. Jason was great at showing that fear it his eyes (which I think are soooooo gorgeous by the way).

So all in all there were some good parts, and there were a lot of bad parts. But I think that this is the best movie so far. Most of that though is do to the fact that they made it into two parts. And the funny thing was I knew exactly what part they were gonna stop on, when they were leaving the Malfoy's and then Voldy getting the Elder Wand (sorry if I just ruined it for anyone, but you really shouldn't be reading this if you haven't seen the film yet).

So in parting I think that everyone should go see this movie even if you are like me and despise the movies to their very core. If nothing else you can be like me and pick apart every little detail. Can't wait for Part 2. :)

Thursday, November 18, 2010


First of all after writing the word Disclaimer in the title I immediately got the song "Disclaimer" by Chevelle stuck in my head, and am now listening to it as I type this. That though is besides the point. This post is a disclaimer post for the post that will follow. So in case any of you have been living under a rock the new Harry Potter film is coming out at midnight. Now I won't be seeing it until tomorrow night, but for those of you who know me might be probably getting scared for the aftermath after I see this movie. For those of you who don't know me I am a beyond huge HP fan. Though I make it clear, I am a fan of the BOOKS. Probably way to much of a fan. So because of this I kind of sort of absolutely don't like the movies. This stems from a number of things. I understand the point that they can't keep everything in the movies, I get that. What I don't get is how they can change the plot, leave out entire characters (IMPORTANT ONES!!) and skip over details that are kind of essential and wouldn't be a budget concern (*cough* Percy's glasses *cough*) Now today unfortunately my roommate got a pre-Harry Potter movie rant from me in which I'm pretty sure she'd wished she never asked me the question "Why don't you like the movies?" Now I won't get into now because I could go on for pages and pages about the overall things that are wrong with the movies (*cough* left out Bill Weasley until randomly popping up in the seventh one *cough*). But I am preparing you for the inevitable long rant about the new movie and how many things are wrong with it. Feel very sorry for anyone that has to ride home with me from the theatre.

The Proposal

A smile took over his face as he walked down the long stretch of city road, littered with vendors of every sort. The smell of soft pretzels, gasoline and roses filled his nostrils, and he couldn't help but smile even wider. He past two teenage girls sitting on the steps of a house and they giggled as he went by.

He couldn't help but smile because he was in love. In love with a beautiful girl with long red hair and three freckles along the bridge of her nose. Oh how he loved those freckles, he loved to run his finger over her nose when they were together, nestled on her beige love seat.

If that couch could talk… it could tell many stories. Stories of them watching horror movies, Kay clutching onto his arm for safety, of sleepless nights during summer thunderstorms, of sweet love by candle light. They had so many great memories that would always stay with him.

As he walked along the sidewalk a bike messenger almost clipped him, but he didn't even flinch, he just continued to walk down, the smile still framing his face. It was almost as if the smile was contagious, because whenever someone past him, they couldn't help but smile back.

"Oh I can tell he's in love," one woman said to her husband after smiling back at the man, then smacking her husband on the arm, "Why don't you ever look like that anymore?"

The real reason he was smiling was yes, he was in love… but it was more than that, it was what was nestled deep inside the pocket of his navy suit, in a small black velvet box. A ring. An engagement ring to be more precise. As he walked it burrowed into his leg, a feeling that had he not been in love, would have been uncomfortable. But alas he was in love, and it felt perfectly fine to him, but he knew it would feel even better on Kay's finger.

The sun was beginning to set and it cast an orange glow on the city that seemed to put everyone in a very romantic mood. He smiled as he saw two teenagers kissing on a park bench on the other side ride, smiling at each other when taking breaths. An old couple was walking down the street, the man's wrinkled arm around his wife, lovingly.

Then man was now approaching Kay's apartment building, he could see its cement top reaching towards the heavens, and Kay's apartment was on the top floor. He smiled a little wider, so that his mouth looked like it was in danger of falling off his face. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he crossed the street, in front of a car that had graciously let him cross.

He closed his hand over the velvet case, and it felt good against the smooth palm of his hand. He opened the door to the apartment building and walked past the lobby desk to the elevator.

"Evening Mr. Lancer, aren't you looking good today…" the receptionist said from behind the desk.

"Thank you Irene," he smiled back and pushed the up button on the elevator.

The elevator soon arrived on the floor and opened its doors to let a tiny man out, who tipped his black bowler hat at Mr. Lancer. The small man reminded him briefly of Danny Devito as "the penguin" in one of the batman movies, he couldn't remember which. He smiled at the man and stepped into the elevator and hit floor 35.

The elevator seemed to take its old time climbing up the steel ropes to the top floor, it seemed like he was in there for an hour. But time always seems to go more slowly when you really want to get somewhere. Finally the elevator dinged and opened its door to the 35th floor, to reveal a mousy looking lady with a grey wool cap and a cat in her arm. She watched him as he stepped out of the elevator, the smile still taking over his face, but she didn't smile back. In fact she almost had a look of fear on her face as she quickly got in the elevator and jabbed the button for the lobby.

Lancer shrugged it off and walked to Kay's apartment, number 537 and rapped on the door, his heart feeling heavy with anticipation in his chest. There was no answer at the door though. He rapped on it again, and waited a good 3 minutes before he heard something inside. It was sobbing, and it sounded like Kay. He knocked on the door again, and this time a mournful voice cried out.

"Go away!" Kay sobbed.

"Kay it's me Ethan!"

"Liar!" she screamed, hysterical now, "Go away!"

"Kay come on…" he said not knowing what the hell was going on, and now getting out the key he had to her apartment.

He put the key in the knob and unlocked the door pushing it open to reveal Kay sitting on her couch with the pillow in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably. She looked at him as he came in and jumped up and flew against the wall almost screaming now, tears pouring down her tanned face.

"Kay what's wrong, it's me Ethan?" he asked edging closer to her, she tried to back up but was already against the wall.

"It can't be…" she sobbed, almost inaudibly, "He's not you… you're… you can't be him."

"Kay it's me," he came up closer to her and she started to scream.

"Get away from me!" she screamed and ran over to the kitchen.

"Kay something's wrong with you…" he said as he saw her pick up a steak knife and step away from him, "You've gone…"

"Go now!" she screamed, "Get the hell out of here!"

"No Kay I have something I want to ask you!" he demanded, "Just tell me what's wrong."

He edged forward and she sliced his suit with the knife, leaving a cut in the lapel. He backed up, he now knew that she meant business. She mist be having a psychotic break or something, he thought, but she had never had any mental problems, she hadn't had any physical ones either, she had always been perfectly healthy. But something was majorly wrong.

"Get the hell out!" she screamed, tears pouring down her face like a faucet left on.

She held the knife out in front of her like a sword and forced him out the open door, "Kay come on let's just talk about it!"

"There's nothing to talk about cause you're not here!" she sobbed hysterically.

"What the hell are you talking about I'm not here? I'm standing right it front of you! Now stop this!"

"Just go away," she sobbed pathetically, dropping the knife on the red carpet of her apartment.

"I was planning to give you this," he said frowning fishing out the black velevet box. and opening it.

She then started crying so hard that her body was shaking all over and she fell to the ground onto her knees. She pushed the door closed and he heard her lock the knob, the dead bolt and the chain. He looked miserably down at the ring. He didn't know what to think. Kay had been talking crazy, saying he wasn't there, he could still hear her crying on her couch, the same couch they had so many happy memories on.

Something suddenly caught his eye on the door mat of her next door neighbor. The evening edition of the paper was sitting there and bore a legend that made him drop the ring on the spot: LOCAL BUSINESS MAN MURDERED IN JEWRELY STORE ROBBERY. And right next to the legend was a picture of a young man with a navy blue suit and a wide smile that took up his whole face.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

A Play in Four Acts

Dark shadows splayed across the beige walls. Shadows of “I’m sorry,” “He was a good man” “It was just his time.” I huddled in the corner gripping the new leather shoes he had bought me just weeks before.

The funeral had been like play in four acts. Wake. Service. Graveyard. Reception. They all said the service was beautiful, the flowers were beautiful, he was in a better place now and that was beautiful.

I never answered them, I just stared up at them, with wide pulsating eyes. I didn’t know them, they pretended to know me, introducing themselves, offering their empty sympathies.

I didn’t want to be here, I didn’t want to see them, I didn’t want them to see me. I got up and trudged into the kitchen. It was littered with casseroles, salads, jellos, and a pound cake that glared at me with on thin slice cut from it. It mocked me, and I inched closer to it.

I palmed the plate, carrying it up to my shoulder. I looked at the nice, beige wall and hurled it at it. The plate smashed, someone screamed, remnants of the squashed cake floated down the wall. Someone rushed in and gathered up the plate in silence. Another came in a swept up the cake in silence. I hated the silence even more than I hated the shadows’ empty sympathies.

I wanted the silence to go away. I turned on the radio over the sink and switched it to high. An old country western song blared loudly echoing off those beige walls. No one said a thing, no one switched it off, they just let it play.

The shadows left one by one, leaving the house empty except for her. She finally switched the radio off as another song started. She was calm and I hated her for it. I took my nice leather shoes and hurled them at the wall near the phone. The shoe polish left black streaks on the walls. She remained calm. She started to wash the dishes, ignoring me.

I suddenly burst out, breaking the silence, “Why are you so calm?!”

There was no answer.

“Answer me!”

There was no answer.

“Answer me dammit!”

There was still no answer.

I screamed out loud and ran upstairs to my room. I plopped down on my bed and stared up at the blank, beige ceiling, tears now burning my eyes. They poured down the sides of my face following the creases like a flowing river. I lay there and cried. I never stopped.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Cry Witch

Annora Pascal sat in the sitting room of her lavishly furnished castle, staring at the picture on the coffee table of her late husband, Grant Pascal. She sighed deeply, as she swept a piece of loose auburn hair out of her face. She looked out the big bay window, down onto the serfs working away below in the fields. She also saw a man riding up on a horse, only to be turned away by the doorman.

She figured that it was another man wishing for her hand in marriage, or in other words, wanting to control her land. Well she would never let a man control her land. She was proud of it and it was making her economically stable. So what if the men in the village thought she was wrong to not have a man protecting her, she could protect herself.

She smiled proudly and stood up, her long maroon dress’ hem falling to the ground as she did. She walked over to the door, and walked out into the hallway with maroon draperies all along the walls. Her favorite color was maroon, and shortly after her husband died she had the whole castle refurnished from the ugly puke green that used to adorn it.

She walked to the top of the stairs, but stopped as she heard hushed voices below. She could barely make out what they were saying, but she recognized the voices right away. One voice belonged to the knight Sir Radulfus and the other belonged to one of the serfs that worked in the house.

“I don’t see why she won’t except my protection, she’ll be wiped out in an instant if I don’t help her,” Radulfus whispered.

“Yes sir I agree, but she claims she can protect herself,” the serf said, “Which makes me wonder…”

“Whether she might be a witch or not?” Radulfus whispered even quieter, “I was wondering the same thing.”

“But how do we prove it if she is?”

“If we can catch her doing something out of place we can get rid of her and get a man to be in charge of the manor, because she doesn’t seem to be interested in marriage…”

Annora gasped to herself quietly and rushed down the hall to her sleeping quarters. Was this true? Did they really think her a witch, or, did they just not like her to be in charge of such a large piece of land. She reached her sleeping quarters and collapsed on the peach sheets of her canopy bed.

She heard footsteps come up the steps and she heard them go down the hall to the sitting room. She held her breath as she heard them moving around in the room. She heard the opening of the chest, and moving of furniture, and then suddenly everything went silent. Then she heard laughing, but not laughing at a joke, triumphant laughing.

What could they have found in there that could show that she was a witch? She didn’t know what they found, but it was obviously something. She listened carefully, still lying on her stomach, on the bed; she listened to footsteps traveling back down the staircase.

She scrambled to the window next to her dresser and looked down onto the village where Radulfus and the serf were running. The church was just letting out, and the priest was standing at the door, shaking people’s hands as they left. Radulfus ran up to the priest and handed him something, though Annora didn’t know what because the church was far away. From what she could see, the crowd coming out of the church stopped and looked back at the priest who appeared to be yelling at them.

She got scared, what had Radulfus shown the priest? And why now was the crowd of people running out of the village and up to the castle, led by the priest and Radulfus? She turned away from the window, closing her eyes and breathing quickly.

Her heart thumped in her chest as she sat down on the bed. She heard thumping at the door, she knew the villagers had arrived.

She ran out of her bedroom and into the hallway and looked over the banister at the crowd that was now flooding in the door and starting up the staircase. Radulfus was in the lead holding up a book high, as though it was the Bible. She suddenly realized what it was, her journal. Women didn’t usually read or write, but her mother had taught her at a young age in secret, but that was enough for them to think she was a witch.

Radulfus neared the top of the step, and Annora made to run, but stepped on the edge of her long dress and fell forward. She landed on the floor and bit her tongue as her chin thumped onto the carpet. She tasted blood in her mouth and she spat it out. She felt a hand tighten around her ankle, pulling her backwards towards the top of the steps. She turned around as she was being pulled to see that it was Radulfus. She tried to kick him away, but he was much stronger than her for he was a knight.

“Please Radulfus!” Annora pleaded, “Don’t do this! You know it’s not true!”

“Not true!?” Radulfus laughed maliciously, “I hold the proof in my hand.”

He extended the journal above the banister so that the crowd could see it. They let out a cheer of agreement as Radulfus seized Annora up by the neck of her dress and held her draped over the banister. She winced as blood dribbled from her mouth.

“Is this who we want as our ruler?” Radulfus yelled to the crowd.

“No!” they all exclaimed.

“Should she pay for her sinful practices?”

“Yes!” the crowd exclaimed again.

“What should her punishment be?” Radulfus yelled pulling her up from the banister, still holding the neck of her dress.

“Burn her! Burn her!” they chanted.

Radulfus then started to drag her down the staircase by the neck of her dress so that her legs thumped down the steps behind him. He treated her like a rag doll, like she was worthless, the exact opposite he was taught. He was taught about code of conduct, Chivalry, to respect women, to protect them, but that was all thrown to the wind as he dragged her to the bottom of the steps.

The crowd parted as he dragged her out the big castle door and across the drawbridge, all while she struggled to get out of his grip. He dragged her all the way down to the village square, while the crowd followed like a pack of dogs. He threw her onto the pedestal in the middle of the square. A bunch of peasant men came out of nowhere, carrying a large wooden post. They set the wooden post up behind her and each of them took one end of a long piece of braided rope and tied her tightly to the post.

She struggled to get free, but the more she struggled the tighter the rope dug into the wrists. They tied her feet to the post as children ran up to her and hurled rotten fruit at her. She was quickly covered in rotten food and the flies were attracted to the smell and began to feast on it.

“You ready to watch her burn?!” Radulfus called out as he raised a torch out in front of him.

“Yeah!” they all screamed.

“Does the witch have any last words?” he asked mockingly.

Annora said nothing as she looked down at the wooden pedestal below. Tears fell from her red eyes onto the weather beaten wood and the crowd cheered Radulfus on. He laughed a hideous laugh.

“Well if that’s all then why don’t we get it over with?!”

“Burn her! Burn her! Burn her!” the crowd chanted all while Radulfus inched the torch closer and closer to the wood that the peasants placed around her feet.

The torch finally connected with the wood and the flames leaped from the wood to her dress, burning it away fast. She barely heard the crowd chanting as the roaring flames covered her body, engulfing her in a hellish bonfire. She screamed loudly as her flesh was singed away from the bone, as her organs began to cook inside her. She screamed so loud, that they could even hear her above their chants and the roar of the fire.

She felt like this was hell, that she was in hell, paying for everything she had ever done. But what had she done? Nothing, she had done nothing wrong in her life. So why must she pay? She felt everything drift away as if she was drifting up, up away from everything. Pain still consumed every inch of what was left of her body. Everything went silent as she drifted away, but she kept repeating one thing over and over in her mind or what was left of it: God forgive them.

Friday, October 1, 2010


So with the start of October, comes the count down to Halloween/Samhain. And with the start of my favorite month come the first installment of my horror movie posts! These are my takes on Horror Movies, and this post is 55 rules to surviving a Horror Movie! So enjoy :)

55 Rules to Surviving a Horror Movie

Disclaimer: All you have to do is follow these easy fifty five rules and you’ll survive through any situation you find yourself in, but break even one of them and start writing your will.

Rule #1: No matter how lost you are in the woods, never go into the abandoned house, just take your chances in the woods.

Rule #2: When driving through the dessert, avoid back roads, stick to the main roads and especially don’t listen to a stranger’s directions.

Rule #3: NEVER pick up hitchhikers, no matter how nice they might seem.

Rule #4: NEVER go hitchhiking yourself, because if someone actually picks you up, they’re not right.

Rule #5: Don’t trust your boyfriend to protect you, worry about your own safety, they’re going to be dead soon anyway.

Rule #6: If water starts pouring out from anything that it shouldn’t be pouring out of (i.e. TVs, walls, couches) stay away from it, don’t walk closer.

Rule #7: When you’re at a slumber party and someone suggests playing Bloody Mary, slap that person upside the head, but whatever you do, DON’T play.

Rule #8: Don’t trust you’re car to get you away from somewhere; it won’t start, so just run away.

Rule #9: If a dead body moves… Run

Rule #10: If you hear a noise in an otherwise thought deserted place, Do Not go towards it.

Rule #11: Never assume a killer is dead, he’s not (shoot him and or hack him until he’s actually dead)

Rule #12: If anywhere, and you meet some stranger and they start talking about something from another decade like it’s the present, it’s safe to say there a ghost.

Rule #13: Seeing a person in a mirror and then turning around to see there not there is NOT NORMAL! That’s your ticket to run.

Rule #14: If your child suddenly has an imaginary friend, most likely they’re not imaginary, they’re dead and using them to get to manipulate them.

Rule #15: NEVER trust creepy children.

Rule #16: If an offer on a giant house seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Rule #17: Dead is better, never bring your love ones back to life, it’ll only be bad for everyone.

Rule #18: If someone you know sleeps during the day, and only comes out at night, face it they’re a vampire so drive a stake to their heart and get it over with.

Rule #19: Never have sex, if you’re already not a virgin well sorry but it’s too late. But the moment you have sex you’ve signed your death sentence.

Rule #20: If you hear voices in the morgue, chances are something’s not exactly all the way dead, and it’s better to get the hell out of there.

Rule #21: Black eyes on a person are NOT NORMAL!

Rule #22: If someone shows up in a picture that wasn’t there when it was taken, just burn the picture.

Rule #23: If someone dares you to go into a “haunted house” don’t do it, better being called a chicken then dead.

Rule #24: Never play with an Ouija board, at the least you’ll piss off a spirit, if not going as far as getting possessed.

Rule #25: Don’t play around with death, if someone fakes being dead for a prank, or otherwise pranks someone in the style of horror, they’ll most end up dead.

Rule #26: Know matter how drunk or otherwise intoxicated you are, never go to a cemetery, only bad can come from it.

Rule #27: Don’t dishonor the dead, don’t mock them, don’t toy with them, because it never turns out good.

Rule #28: Never mess with a grave, you’ll just piss off the spirit of that grave and they’ll set a vendetta against you.

Rule #29: Stay away from abandoned hospitals, insane asylums, factories, and prisons (this should be self explanatory)

Rule #30: Don’t trust authorities to believe you’re outrageous stories; they’ll pass you off as insane and won’t help you, so just help yourself.

Rule #31: The cops can’t protect you, if you get them involved in your supernatural problems they’re just going to end up dead.

Rule #32: The most secure location will not be safe, the killer or killers will find away in.

Rule #33: Even a church might not save you there are things that even God can’t control.

Rule #34: The local legends usually aren’t legends.

Rule #35: The creepy guy in the house down the street will be the one to help you out in the end.

Rule #36: If you’re seeing things that aren’t really there, it’s time to leave.

Rule #37: Never volunteer to wait in the car.

Rule #38: If you do decide to wait in the car, make sure you STAY IN THE CAR, as soon as you walk away from that car, you’re dead.

Rule #39: You’re cell phone will never work, so don’t bother, you could be right under a cell phone tower and it still won’t work.

Rule #40: The weapons that you find (knives, guns, chainsaws) won’t kill the killer, don’t bother.

Rule #41: What will kill the killer are the things that you usually wouldn’t use, so go for those first (TVs, stereos, crutches, car parts, alcohol and fire, croquet mallets, etc.)

Rule #42: If you here a chainsaw… RUN!

Rule #43: Never trust European business men no matter how nice they appear.

Rule #44: Don’t let anyone help you with your car if it breaks down, you’re better off on your own, then in the hands of a stranger.

Rule #45: Never eat or drink anything a stranger gives you, you don’t know what, or even who you’re eating or drinking.

Rule #46: Don’t play chicken on a back country road, or really ever.

Rule #47: Just stay away from children all together, they’re bad omens

Rule #48: Never split up, this once again is self explanatory

Rule #49: Resist the urge to walk on stairs, up or down it doesn’t matter, once you put your first foot on them, you’re dead, just stay on the level you walked in on.

Rule #50: Animals are always good weapons, especially dogs granted that they are on your side and not the killers

Rule #51: Don’t read anything in a different language or anything that sounds like it could be a spell it’s just asking for trouble.

Rule #52: Always answer your cell phone if it rings; don’t blow off the person because most likely they’ll warn you about the killer.

Rule #53: The nice happy toe truck driver or mechanic will always turn out to either be the killer or an accomplice.

Rule #54: If you’re over the age of fifty you’ll be fine, it’s those fifty and younger that have to worry.

Rule #55: Screaming doesn’t help anything, it just draws attention to you so resist the urge.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Demonic Parasite

Melinda lie in bed, sweat poring down her pale forehead, and her stiff limbs. The candle placed by her bedside was now down to a stub, perched in a pool of hot wax flooding onto the table. Her breathing was as erratic as the flashes of lightning outside her window. Her lips were a pale blue and her hair was now wet from the cold sweat. The stench of death seemed to hover around to the room, waiting to extend its long fingers and embrace Melinda.

The Bible on her bed was opened to Psalm 23, it’s red ribbon flipped over on the sheet like a streak of crimson blood. The tips of her fingers, lying lifelessly on the hot sheet, were changing from white to pale blue. Outside her window rolling green hills were covered by the shadows of the dark clouds overhead, as the sheep grazed on the emerald grass, oblivious to the imminent storm.

Just then there was a noise at the door, and she turned her stiff neck to see the a man walking in with a long black cloak on, the hood pulled up so she couldn’t see his face. He seemed to glide over to her beside, and look at her with eyes not visible to her.

“I don’t remember asking for a priest,” Melinda said wearily.

The figure didn’t say anything. Her just went down on his knee by her bedside and she frowned and looked at him in question. His face was focused on her face, and when she touched the Bible with the tips of her fingers, he seemed to flinch and she found this very weird. Then suddenly as a long corpse-looking finger protruded from the sleeve of the figure’s cloak, she shuddered.

“You’re not a priest are you,” she whimpered as his hand was revealed completely out of the sleeve, “Oh God…”

“Actually quite the opposite,” the figure said in a deep voice.

He then pulled the hood all the way down to reveal a twisted, pale green face. His eyes were wrinkled, along with the rest of his forehead, and his lips were bright red, covering up monstrous fangs. Melinda attempted to pick up the Bible, but she was too weak, and ended up knocking it off the bed.

“Get away,” she said, shaking all over, “Get away unclean spirit…”

“This is the only way for you to survive. You do want to survive right? Go on to lead a healthy life? Well when I’m through with you you’ll have a very long one. Well not so much life, as a very long death,” he said as he cocked his fangs and bore down on her.

She screamed aloud as his long fangs pierced her skin, and punctured her jugular vein. The pain was unbearable as he drained her of blood, drop by drop. Her head grew extremely light, the room started to spin, as she heard the rain start to come down outside. She was aware of the demon’s fangs retracting out of her neck, leaving her to lie there on the bed, but the next thing she knew she was seeing darkness.