Friday, October 1, 2010


So with the start of October, comes the count down to Halloween/Samhain. And with the start of my favorite month come the first installment of my horror movie posts! These are my takes on Horror Movies, and this post is 55 rules to surviving a Horror Movie! So enjoy :)

55 Rules to Surviving a Horror Movie

Disclaimer: All you have to do is follow these easy fifty five rules and you’ll survive through any situation you find yourself in, but break even one of them and start writing your will.

Rule #1: No matter how lost you are in the woods, never go into the abandoned house, just take your chances in the woods.

Rule #2: When driving through the dessert, avoid back roads, stick to the main roads and especially don’t listen to a stranger’s directions.

Rule #3: NEVER pick up hitchhikers, no matter how nice they might seem.

Rule #4: NEVER go hitchhiking yourself, because if someone actually picks you up, they’re not right.

Rule #5: Don’t trust your boyfriend to protect you, worry about your own safety, they’re going to be dead soon anyway.

Rule #6: If water starts pouring out from anything that it shouldn’t be pouring out of (i.e. TVs, walls, couches) stay away from it, don’t walk closer.

Rule #7: When you’re at a slumber party and someone suggests playing Bloody Mary, slap that person upside the head, but whatever you do, DON’T play.

Rule #8: Don’t trust you’re car to get you away from somewhere; it won’t start, so just run away.

Rule #9: If a dead body moves… Run

Rule #10: If you hear a noise in an otherwise thought deserted place, Do Not go towards it.

Rule #11: Never assume a killer is dead, he’s not (shoot him and or hack him until he’s actually dead)

Rule #12: If anywhere, and you meet some stranger and they start talking about something from another decade like it’s the present, it’s safe to say there a ghost.

Rule #13: Seeing a person in a mirror and then turning around to see there not there is NOT NORMAL! That’s your ticket to run.

Rule #14: If your child suddenly has an imaginary friend, most likely they’re not imaginary, they’re dead and using them to get to manipulate them.

Rule #15: NEVER trust creepy children.

Rule #16: If an offer on a giant house seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Rule #17: Dead is better, never bring your love ones back to life, it’ll only be bad for everyone.

Rule #18: If someone you know sleeps during the day, and only comes out at night, face it they’re a vampire so drive a stake to their heart and get it over with.

Rule #19: Never have sex, if you’re already not a virgin well sorry but it’s too late. But the moment you have sex you’ve signed your death sentence.

Rule #20: If you hear voices in the morgue, chances are something’s not exactly all the way dead, and it’s better to get the hell out of there.

Rule #21: Black eyes on a person are NOT NORMAL!

Rule #22: If someone shows up in a picture that wasn’t there when it was taken, just burn the picture.

Rule #23: If someone dares you to go into a “haunted house” don’t do it, better being called a chicken then dead.

Rule #24: Never play with an Ouija board, at the least you’ll piss off a spirit, if not going as far as getting possessed.

Rule #25: Don’t play around with death, if someone fakes being dead for a prank, or otherwise pranks someone in the style of horror, they’ll most end up dead.

Rule #26: Know matter how drunk or otherwise intoxicated you are, never go to a cemetery, only bad can come from it.

Rule #27: Don’t dishonor the dead, don’t mock them, don’t toy with them, because it never turns out good.

Rule #28: Never mess with a grave, you’ll just piss off the spirit of that grave and they’ll set a vendetta against you.

Rule #29: Stay away from abandoned hospitals, insane asylums, factories, and prisons (this should be self explanatory)

Rule #30: Don’t trust authorities to believe you’re outrageous stories; they’ll pass you off as insane and won’t help you, so just help yourself.

Rule #31: The cops can’t protect you, if you get them involved in your supernatural problems they’re just going to end up dead.

Rule #32: The most secure location will not be safe, the killer or killers will find away in.

Rule #33: Even a church might not save you there are things that even God can’t control.

Rule #34: The local legends usually aren’t legends.

Rule #35: The creepy guy in the house down the street will be the one to help you out in the end.

Rule #36: If you’re seeing things that aren’t really there, it’s time to leave.

Rule #37: Never volunteer to wait in the car.

Rule #38: If you do decide to wait in the car, make sure you STAY IN THE CAR, as soon as you walk away from that car, you’re dead.

Rule #39: You’re cell phone will never work, so don’t bother, you could be right under a cell phone tower and it still won’t work.

Rule #40: The weapons that you find (knives, guns, chainsaws) won’t kill the killer, don’t bother.

Rule #41: What will kill the killer are the things that you usually wouldn’t use, so go for those first (TVs, stereos, crutches, car parts, alcohol and fire, croquet mallets, etc.)

Rule #42: If you here a chainsaw… RUN!

Rule #43: Never trust European business men no matter how nice they appear.

Rule #44: Don’t let anyone help you with your car if it breaks down, you’re better off on your own, then in the hands of a stranger.

Rule #45: Never eat or drink anything a stranger gives you, you don’t know what, or even who you’re eating or drinking.

Rule #46: Don’t play chicken on a back country road, or really ever.

Rule #47: Just stay away from children all together, they’re bad omens

Rule #48: Never split up, this once again is self explanatory

Rule #49: Resist the urge to walk on stairs, up or down it doesn’t matter, once you put your first foot on them, you’re dead, just stay on the level you walked in on.

Rule #50: Animals are always good weapons, especially dogs granted that they are on your side and not the killers

Rule #51: Don’t read anything in a different language or anything that sounds like it could be a spell it’s just asking for trouble.

Rule #52: Always answer your cell phone if it rings; don’t blow off the person because most likely they’ll warn you about the killer.

Rule #53: The nice happy toe truck driver or mechanic will always turn out to either be the killer or an accomplice.

Rule #54: If you’re over the age of fifty you’ll be fine, it’s those fifty and younger that have to worry.

Rule #55: Screaming doesn’t help anything, it just draws attention to you so resist the urge.


  1. I hope it's okay that I followed you! I saw your post on Mrs B's blog, and thought it was fantastic. :) I look forward to reading more!

    - Stephanie, The Coexist Cafe

  2. Of course it's okay that you followed me! I've been trying to revamp my blog and get it out there so I thought this guest blog spot would be a good chance to! Plus I just love to write!

    - Sam

  3. Stopping by from Mrs. B's. Thanks for the guest blog today. I loved it. :)